Children rights to love and care by and for parents

Childrens rights

All children have a need and a right to…

• ….Love and be loved by both parents.
• ….Be able to enjoy the love of both parents without having excessive demands placed on them by either.
• ….Feel proud of both parents and to be able to respect them.
• ….See their parents behave towards each other with at least mutual courtesy, consideration and respect.
• ….Be listened to by both of their parents so that their needs are met.

Remember

1. Contact with both parents is considered to be the right of the child. Continuing contact with a parent not living with the child is an important part of your child’s emotional and psychological development. If anything, this contact is even more important when your child is very young. Each of you has a contribution to make to your child which the other parent cannot make up for.
2. Realise that in spite of your separation you still share common goals for your children. Both of you hope that your children will grow to be mature, well-balanced, secure, happy and successful people. These are goals which you share even though you are separated – the problems which occur on the way to achieving these goals will be your common problems. Your children will benefit greatly if, when problems arise, you are able to cooperate with each other or, at the very least, not use every problem to score points against each other.
3. Children should be able to feel that both parents are positive about their time with the other parent. The enjoyment and benefits children can receive from seeing their parents will be enhanced if they feel the arrangements have the approval and support of both of you. When collecting or returning your children try, where possible, to spend a few minutes in casual conversation with each other, perhaps over a cup of coffee. If you cannot do this then at least avoid any outward show of conflict.
4. Most children desperately want to stay friends with both parents. For many children who want nothing more than to live happily with both parents, visits may remind them that this is not happening. Emotional scenes are therefore quite common at the beginning or end of visits, but they usually happen less often once a regular routine has been established. Try to cooperate with each other to make parenting arrangements as positive and enjoyable as possible and to minimise any stress to your children.
5. Keeping in regular contact with both parents can help your children deal with the fears, fantasies, and emotional upset caused by the separation. If your children have a good relationship with both of you, they will want to involve both of you in their lives for many years to come. And there may be times when they wish to involve you both in the same event or function, such as parents’ days at school, special birthdays, and watching them at sport. It will be easier for your children to maintain a close relationship with you both if you show courtesy and consideration toward each other.